sleeplessness

Hi everyone.
Sorry for the anger and fury you saw in my last entry. I was really mad when I wrote it, I should've waited until I calmed down before I wrote it. I'm sorry.
I'm really tired right now. I'm struggling to sleep. I think it's cuz I'm so stressed-out here. And what makes it worse, is that everyone is waiting for me to crack. I'm trying my hardest to prove them all wrong, thanks to the stubborness that comes from my grandmother. Thanks Granny.
I'm just ka-poot!!! I want to go home and never come back here! At least today is one less day than yesterday, though, right?
Hope everyone is doing okay. I miss you all. I'm looking forward to being able to hang-out with all of you when I get back.
Matthew is well. He's still just as goofy as ever. It comforts me to know he's doing okay...even if he's faking it.
I need to go now. Take care. Have a great day.

Kicked out!

I'm being kicked out of my room and being forced to move in with someone from another company cuz my roomie finally got promoted. This pisses BOTH of us off. Me more than her, tho. I'm so upset. I couldn't even eat lunch, I was so mad!!!
And to make it worse, the NCO that was changing my current living arrangments said that he hopes I snap so that I can get sent home and stop bothering people with all my issues! BASTARD!!!!! I'm so ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!! He's lucky that I'd get sent to jail for kicking his ass, cuz that's the only thing keeping me from doing so right now.
Today was a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
"The sun'll come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sun. Just thinkin' about tomorrow, wears away the cobwebs and the sorrow..."
Hope everyone's doing better than me right now. Take care of yourselves. Love you all.

mOrE rAiN...

Hi-lo, my adoring fan club.
It rained some more today. UGH!! I hate the rain. Now my boots are sopping wet and really muddy. It started raining really early this morning and didn't stop until about 1000 this morning. I hate having wet boots...it's so uncomfortable.
I'm enjoying my Jazz combo that I'm in. I get to do some soloing like Benny Goodman on my clarinet. They (my upper NCO's) say that I sound really good for a beginner and that I've surprised them with how good I am at coming up with my own solos. I really only need to work up my scales some more and work on my tone...other than that, I'm about ready to star in my own show! I thought that was pretty encouraging. I've been practicing a lot more now...I want my own show...maybe.
Matthew is okay. He hates the mud too. I'll hopefully be seeing him next month! YAY!!! And his command team already signed the permission slip/form that says we can be together behind closed doors. *wink* Bow chika bow-wow..."let's get it on..."
Other than that...no news really.
Keep the fan mail coming. I really appreciate it. You guys are the best. We're all going to have to party really hard together when Matthew and I get back. Take care of yourselves. I've gotta run. Let's boogie!

I just wanted everyone to get a pic or two. The first pic is of the place where we performed our new year's eve concert. The second is of me taunting the band guys in the truck behind mine. Good times. They later mooned my truck!
I've learned how to skip rocks on water. I'm pretty proud of my new skill. Sadly, there's nowhere for me to practice my newfound skill...the water's all drying up.
I'm still homesick and I miss Matthew as always. We get to talk to each other more now, but we still miss being together.
Thank you, everyone, for the fan mail. Keep it coming.
Catch ya later!

new year's eve convoy

mUdDy DaZe

UGH!!! I hate the mud. It's been raining/sprinkling on and off for the past few days...it's really yucky now. It's a good thing that I tie my boots so tight cuz I'd have lost them in the mud about 10 times by now.
I want to thank everyone for writing to me. It means a great deal to me to have so many people back home who care about me. Thank you. I miss you all so much. I can't wait to get back to the states. We are all going to party SO hard when Matthew and I get back.
Not much is going on. Still doing guard duty, still learning/playing piano, still homesick, and still missing Matthew.
I love you, Matthew!
Thank you, Abby for the pics of you and Adam over x-mas break. It was nice to "see" you again. Thank you, Uncle D and Aunt Ruth for the Christmas DVD. I watch it about every other day. Thank you, Sej, for the xmas card...best wishes to you and Eli as you start your journey down Married-lane. And thank you, Mom, Dad, Amber, and all the rest of my family for being there and helping me out any way you can during this hard time. I love you. And don't think that I've forgotten about the rest of my fan club! I miss and love all of you so much. Take care of yourselves. I'll be back to the states (and back to civillian life) before you know it.
Lots 'o' love to everyone! Keep writing and taking pics! *PEACE*

I was on TV!!

New Year's Eve was a blast. I missed Matthew, but I still managed to have fun, somehow. My band's performance was televised on Fox News! How kewl is that? I was unable to play the piano, tho, cuz I'd gotten my fingers slammed in a door earlier that day...ouch. But, I sang and danced my heart out! It was so much fun. The Fox News team that was there with us left the camera rolling the whole time and supposedly the band will be getting a DVD copy of the night's festivities. Yay! If I get it, I'll definitely make copies for people! I really had a good time. Next year will be better, though.
Oooh!!! I got to SEE Matthew yesterday afternoon. I only spent about an hour with him, but it was a wonderful hour. I really miss the guy, in case you haven't noticed. It was so nice to see him. He was on a convoy and they came to my camp...Matthew was able to slip away and find me at the band hall. We hung out at the PX---I felt like such a teenager! LOL. We talked about what we've been doing, how much we missed each other, what we were going to do when we get home, etc. It was nice to be able to hug him again. I'm sorry--I'm getting all mushy. You don't want to read that! I'll move on.
Back to talking about New Year's Eve. My squad leader had me taking pictures through out the night on his camera. He's going to let me download those pics onto my computer, which I'll be putting onto a CD and sending home one of these days. I'll let my fan club know when I send the CD or when I get it made so that you can start putting in your requests to see the pics/get your own copy of the pics.
Other than all that, I've been doing a LOT of guard duty. Boring. Hopefully we'll be getting ready for another wicked-awesome concert before too long. I convinced the show band to add more techno/rave stuff to their repitoire <---I'm not sure how to spell that word, obviously.
Take care of yourselves. I'll be keeping you posted! Love, Peace and CHICKEN GREASE!!!!